Out of fear of upsetting a grieving heart, sometimes people will resort to small talk rather than letting the grieving party open up.   Some feel, though incorrectly, that a person that has lost a loved one, would be upset if they had to re-live the details.  On the contrary, retelling the story is what they would rather do.  It may seem a contradiction, but until you experienced the intense emotion and reality, it is hard to explain. 

Some people incorrectly feel that they should try and ignore the fact that the dearly departed had ever existed at all.   Sort of like, let me help them forget their pain by making them forget the person.  This is the farthest thing from the truth, for the grieving family would rather tell their story and cry, than be coerced into having fun.